I really wanted to write a novel. Or a manga. Or a series. I don’t know.
I have been planning to write since like…okay, I don’t remember anymore. I have character designs, back story, setting, and many other things I planned out. The only problem is that, I don’t have a plot which is why I can’t start my story. I always change the story, or revise everything, or change this and that until I need to rethink the whole story all over.
I have watched a lot of anime series, a lot of TV series, read a lot of novels, get ideas from so many articles out there in the internet. My friend who also wanted to write already finished one book. It’s currently on a hiatus though, but he was able to finish at least one book. One book! Me? Not even a single chapter. Let alone a single page.
I was able to write a series though, but it’s a poem, the “tea story en route” series and I’m very proud I finished that one, and I was actually shocked, but it is still nowhere from my dream.
Sometimes I’m wavering whether I am really cut out for this one or not. I know I have to muster a lot of self-esteem and relax myself, but I just can’t seem to do it. Every once in a while, an idea comes up, but it doesn’t seem to fit in what I want for my story. Everything’s a blur for me.
Just last week, I even thought of discarding three of my main characters and replacing them with two. But I instantly revert back to my original characters, probably retain the two new characters for back up. I’m so confused.
I know I’m an amateur for this, but I don’t want to write it so poorly. My story “The Black Maria Clara” was actually supposed to be the intro for my story, but it was a failure as even I, can’t get the story flow. I just write, all for the sake of writing, but not really thinking about what will happen in the story. Sigh…
I wish I can make up my mind soon.