Maybe I’m not cut out to be a writer…

I really wanted to write a novel. Or a manga. Or a series. I don’t know.

I have been planning to write since like…okay, I don’t remember anymore. I have character designs, back story, setting, and many other things I planned out. The only problem is that, I don’t have a plot which is why I can’t start my story. I always change the story, or revise everything, or change this and that until I need to rethink the whole story all over.

I have watched a lot of anime series, a lot of TV series, read a lot of novels, get ideas from so many articles out there in the internet. My friend who also wanted to write already finished one book. It’s currently on a hiatus though, but he was able to finish at least one book. One book! Me? Not even a single chapter. Let alone a single page.

I was able to write a series though, but it’s a poem, the “tea story en route” series and I’m very proud I finished that one, and I was actually shocked, but it is still nowhere from my dream.

Sometimes I’m wavering whether I am really cut out for this one or not. I know I have to muster a lot of self-esteem and relax myself, but I just can’t seem to do it. Every once in a while, an idea comes up, but it doesn’t seem to fit in what I want for my story. Everything’s a blur for me.

Just last week, I even thought of discarding three of my main characters and replacing them with two. But I instantly revert back to my original characters, probably retain the two new characters for back up. I’m so confused.

I know I’m an amateur for this, but I don’t want to write it so poorly. My story “The Black Maria Clara” was actually supposed to be the intro for my story, but it was a failure as even I, can’t get the story flow. I just write, all for the sake of writing, but not really thinking about what will happen in the story. Sigh…

I wish I can make up my mind soon.

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2 thoughts on “Maybe I’m not cut out to be a writer…

  1. keep writing, especially when you lose confidence/hope. my best writings, for instance, come out of pain which I know so well and write so good about. maybe you have your own conditions that fits you well, or better than others. you gotta keep trying. everybody feels like this time to time. best

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you very much for cheering me up and for reading this post~
      you know what? I was shocked that this post got a lot of likes which boosted my self-confidence
      perhaps, one day, I’ll find my inspiration to write the way I wanted
      Again, thank you very much~♥

      Liked by 1 person

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