Have you ever met people with a positive impact to you? People who were meant to be part of your life to inspire you?
I’m pretty sure you did. And you know that you’re now a different person from who you were before you met them.
I myself have met a lot of them. Or not necessarily “met” but “encountered.” This time I’ll talk about my crush. Again.
Remember in my previous blog that I sent him a message thanking him for being someone with a positive impact on me. That’s true. It was actually just lately that I realize he had a positive impact on me.
Before, when he was still working as an accountant, and we were still chat buddies, I was obsessed with him becoming my boyfriend. Everything I do adds up to that one single goal. For him to become my boyfriend. It doesn’t matter whether it’s inappropriate (‘coz I’m an auditor, remember?), it doesn’t matter whether it was too fast, whether we have different religions. None of those matters. I just want him, and nothing but him, to become my boyfriend.
He was complementing me every once in a while. But rather than take it positively, I keep on saying things that exposes my insecurities. It sucks.
When he quit his position, and decided to put up a business of his own, we rarely (as in RARELY) chat. That’s the time when my anxiety eats me up every day. My insecurities resurface every now and then. My goal of becoming his girlfriend all goes down the drain. I was always down. I may look fine on the outside but totally broken inside.
Also, during this time, I was reading blogs from A New Mode (ANM). It was a good blog site, and majority of what was written there helped me get my act up together. Having such distance from him and reading ANM all had a positive impact on me. Even my friends and colleagues notice it!
Thinking about him after such a long time of not chatting him made me appreciate the things he has for me. To those of you who doesn’t know, he was the one who introduced WordPress to me. Which is also the reason why I thanked him, because after all this time, I haven’t properly thanked him. I can say that I was a different person before I met him.
How about you? Who are the people who had a positive impact on you?