Not-so-back yet

Okay fine, I’m just writing a blog just to remind people I’m not gone yet. Just…figuring out life (joke).

I’ve gone out expatriating myself from Facebook, and now from WordPress. I don’t know. Just felt like I needed break from social media.

Although I’m not leaving the blogging realm just yet. Just need to sort my thoughts, find inspiration to write, and the energy to scour blogs, maybe?

Lately, I’ve been spending most of my leisure time either watching Ryan Higa videos, playing Fate/Grand Order (until all daily quests are cleared), reading Game of Thrones, or sleeping. SLEEPING.

I don’t really know. I always wanted to sleep these past few weeks. But then, when I wake up, I don’t feel rested at all. In fact, I felt as if time simply passed by and I didn’t sleep at all. I don’t remember having dreams. It felt like I closed my eyes, then opened them after a few seconds (the only difference is that it was actually an expanse of 6 to 7 hours).

I feel tired, even after sleeping. Whenever I do something (any of those I mentioned above), I just feel bored and feel the urge to sleep. It was like I was hoping for some fun in my dreams, only that I don’t dream (I don’t remember having any). Although it was said that most of our dreams are forgotten, I just feel like I didn’t have any at all.

I think I needed meditation or something. I don’t feel satisfied with any of what I do. I don’t know. I wonder what is it I lack, or anything I’m not doing now that I used to do that’s making me feel fulfilled. Looking back, I’m just doing the same thing all this time, the only difference is that I don’t have much to worry this time, because I don’t have any problems at hand. I suppose I should be happy and thankful, for not having any problems, but somehow I have gotten so used to it that not having any is quite a different feel.

Or maybe I did have one. Probably my uneventful love life. Or should I say inexistent. Well, yeah, I have a crush, but since he quit blogging and I stopped logging in to Facebook, we don’t have any communication right now. I want to, but he’s busy with his business, so I decided not to interfere with him.

I miss him, but I need to have a life of my own, and I need to figure out what I really want to do in life.

I’m such a sore worrier.

Maybe that’s why I always want to sleep. It’s as if I want to escape reality. As if I can.

I feel like a robot.


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