I ain’t gonna talk about my crush, not this time.
I’m referring to this guy I randomly added on Facebook way back in November 2014. We are both members of the Shingeki no Kyojin Facebook Group and that’s where we get along. Eventually, I added him. At first I thought he was a she because his FB name was Jana Dasa. Until now I don’t know his real full name, but his first name is Andrei.
We haven’t met each other in person yet. Back then, I was very cautious. But he gained my trust after all these years and we actually decided to meet up back in January this year. Unfortunately, something’s up so we never really met.
When I added him, I was trying to get myself over a certain guy, so I basically added him to flirt. Although there’s nothing much to flirt about, I still continue chatting him. We talked about a lot of stuff, but mostly about writing stories. We share that same endeavor. I even read two of his works, or drafts rather, and I think he’s a good writer. I also come to him for life advices, and I appreciate that he helps me. Eventually, we just naturally stop flirting ‘coz I don’t think we are in the first place. I mean, I may think I am flirting but when you read the messages, it was mainly platonic.
So much for that.
Anyway, there had been a time when we stopped chatting actively for quite a long time BUT we started chatting again around just last year. We’re still the same friends as before. Or maybe our friendship grew a little deeper. We’re closer now and more open to each other. Back then, it was always me who asks for advice. I really appreciate it that now he’s opening up to me. I enjoy helping him although I don’t think I’m of much help to him.
I try to consider whether I have some feelings for him, but I’m pretty sure I don’t have any. Nevertheless, I still think of him as my soul mate. Some sort of kindred spirit. I may not know him in real life, but we have this connection that made me feel comfortable with him. I still want to see him in person and be real life friends with him. Funnily enough, he’s got a girlfriend and it may seem awkward and suspicious if we meet up and hang out. Maybe some other time, when there’s a chance. Please don’t get me wrong, I don’t intend to be the third party!
Anyway, remember my previous post: To all those who had been special to me? He was the guy who was my virtual best friend and big brother. He’s the only guy there who I don’t have any romantic feelings whatsoever. Nonetheless, I place him there because he deserves a spot there. He’s really special for me. He’s a treasure I found by accident. And maybe my post Behind the Social Media isn’t meant for him, but it can be dedicated to him, isn’t it?
I also have another stranger friend in Facebook, but he’s yet to gain my trust, so for now, Jana is the only special stranger friend I trust. I hope I can see him in real life.