the blind can open let light shine through

…And I say, “Why we can’t stop all the sacrifice”

I know that all the lies became a stone in your heart…🎵

After a few days of feeling down, I found myself utterly happy yesterday. For whatever reason there is, I know that my smile yesterday morning was genuine.

I have been down this past few days for I felt like I am being stupid tailing my crush. I felt like it’s just a one-sided thing and it wouldn’t get anywhere. I know it’s normal, that everyone’s going through that same process as well, and I just needed time to express my feelings and I’ll be fine thereafter.

The so-called “pain” I’m feeling was rather self-inflicted. We are actively chatting on Facebook and suddenly I decided to stop. Stupid, I know. I made a way for him to miss me, but it all backfired and I ended up missing him instead.

Okay, since I started opening up the topic about him, I think I should talk about him, eh?

It all started when we were invited to a meeting. The Director wants to meet the new set auditors (which happens to be us) and he also invited his subordinates to meet us. There, I saw him, and he caught my attention right off the bat. I tried to look at him again within the periphery of my eye, and I decided no, he’s not that beautiful.

He sat beside me. Of course, I did my best not to look at him too often ‘coz he might misunderstood. After the meeting, I discovered that he’s an accountant too and that there’s a high chance I can talk to him (but of course, I tried to brush off the idea).

The second time we met was…I won’t go into details here ‘coz it’ll give out too many clues and apparently, the said person was also a fellow blogger here, so no, I won’t go into details. But just for the sake of story-telling, here’s the part where I received the final blow that I finally confirmed that I do have a crush on him despite my efforts to deny it. It was the moment when I saw him write with his left-hand (I don’t know, but I do have a weird penchant for left-handed people. I find them amazing).

After that, when I was talking to one of his officemates, I noticed him behind the one I am talking to and probably looking at my direction (or maybe it was just my imagination).

The third time we met was when I went to their office to get some documents and while waiting for the photocopies of the documents I needed, he went there to photocopy some files as well. While waiting for his turn, he sat at the chair across me (and I think he’s glancing my way or it’s just me imagining things again). Later on, when the staff was done with the copies, she confirmed my name if it was spelled correctly (my name was a little bit peculiar, that’s why). He, on the other hand, while busy photocopying his files, he asked where did my name came from. I was a little bit shocked (though I pretended not to) ‘coz he was not part of the conversation, but I appreciated that he initiated a small talk. When I was walking back to our station, I secretly smiled feeling so overwhelmed.

A few days after, I started adding his officemates in Facebook (only those who knew me) and was contemplating whether to add him, or wait for him to add me. I consulted my stranger friend in Facebook and he suggested that I add him and get done with it. So I took his advice, added him, then logged out.

When I came back to Facebook, he left me a message and the rest is history. No, that’s a joke.

There are days that we actively chat each other, and there are days that are silent like these days. But the last time we had a conversation, I was the one who stopped replying, thus ending my little funny imaginary fairytale.

Okay fine, I’ll be blunt here. I seriously need an advice. On how to improve the status quo (not the silent treatment thing, okay?) Do comment your advice below. Anything will be appreciated. Thank you 😊

p.s.

If the said blogger ever read this, I need your comment. I like you. Period. And read this too: https://hikikomorislaire.wordpress.com/2016/11/22/das-vergissmeinnicht-das-du-mir-gegeben-hast-ist-hier/

p.s. #2 

the title and the first two lines were lyrics of the song is entitled “Into the sky.” And for the link: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4gMXEd49rbg

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